That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
