Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
