he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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