sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
