At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
