its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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