the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
