i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
