im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
