Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
