it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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