dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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