I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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