So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
