me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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