sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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