okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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