Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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