the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
