I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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