i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
