I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
