I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
