thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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