we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
