Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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