you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
