You made me cry and you don't even care
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
