Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
