just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
