Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
