Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
