Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
