I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i think my tv is drunk
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
