What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
