how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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