no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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