and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Randomize
