Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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