SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
