Non-Jews are for practice
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
