scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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