p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
