Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
