i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
