Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
