I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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