I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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