my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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