I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
