My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
