I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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