Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
