just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
