you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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