we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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